A Very Real Christmas Conversation
Me: So I read in the Times that they're changing all the words in Catholic Mass.
Mom: Funny! I was thinking about going this year, but then remembered you're coming home... so we're going wine tasting instead.
Me: I think that's a lovely tradition.
Mom: We can call it sacramental wine. Or a sacrilegious sacrament.
Me: Hahahahahahahahaha. Do you hear that laughing? That's the sound of your daughter going to hell.
Mom: That's not funny.
Me: I don't really believe in hell.
Mom: Your father thinks we're there right now.
Me: And he's not even watching the GOP debates.
Get Rich Quick - Move to Jamestown!
perezhamilton: John Rolfe can’t pick a decent woman but at least he can plant decent crops!!! According to our sources, John Rolfe’s Tobacco plants may be the best thing to happen to Jamestown. Worth three shillings a pound, everyone’s flocking West to get their hands on the wealth. Finally they’re giving us a good reason to move out there! Indian attacks, town fires, disease epidemics and...
Before the Chicago 7 came the Grinnell 14 →
My college did this.
Among those arrested by the NYPD during the Occupy... →
glitterbubbles asked: I have never tried it but the gloom definitely takes a toll on me after a bit. it affects some people more than others, so you might want to wait and see if it's an issue for you? I've heard some positive reviews of sunlamps but it's hard to know what is placebo effect and what actually works. I am no help at all, I'm sorry! xoxoxoxo
A Real Conversation About Oregon In Winter Over...
Mysterious L: ...And now you see why Powell's exists.
Me: I can't handle it. I get OVERSTIMULSTED. I have to go in with a list and even then... it becomes one of those "spend $400 or spend nothing."
Mysterious L: OVERSTIMULSTED
Me: Exactly. See? I get so ramped up I can't even spell it. Meanwhile, I may get a full spectrum lamp.
Mysterious L: I need to get some bulbs.. I take 2500IU of vit D every day too.
Me: Yeah that's on the list for the next trip to the Whole Foods. Holy shit this lamp is $300. Fuck that.
Mysterious L: You can get bulbs.
Me: What the hell is a salt lamp?
Mysterious L: It's supposed to do something to your negative ions.. or for them?
Me: What's a negative ion?
Mysterious L: The ions of your cells, there are positive and negative charges... the little things that orbit the nucleus.
Me: And a salt lamp will fix that...
Mysterious L: Negative ones are supposed to be beneficial to mood, well being.
Me: Not something I ingest or anything that in any way makes sense?
Mysterious L: Apparently? Water, bathing.. being near a large body of water does it too...
Me: Sure it does.
Mysterious L: I don't know... I think they are sort of gimmicky.
Me: No shit. Is that a giant Willy Wonka mushroom in that photo of yours?
Mysterious L: It's in the fly agraric family I think.
Me: I don't know what that means. Willy Wonka mushroom works well for me.
Mysterious L: I'm a secret mycologist.
Me: I know. It's not a secret.
Mysterious L: ...
Me: You're a secret mycologist in the way that I'm a secret nerd. IT'S NOT A SECRET. I went as a Dr. Who character for Halloween.
Mysterious L: HAHAHAHAH that's right!
Me: NOT A SECRET.
Mysterious L: I'm glad there are other nerds in the world. Thank you nerds... thank you.
Me: For fuck's sake... I referenced Voltron in my allegory earlier today about my nerddom. Then I double checked it on Wikipedia. No one should ever do that.
Mysterious L: I'm going to be with my nerd family this week in KC. My cousin is a Harvard professor and good at reasoning as well as science... She's a super genius!
Me: ... You're not dumb.
Mysterious L: Sometimes I compare myself to others...
Me: Yeah, but at least do it in ways that matter -- are they thinner than me? do they have a better haircut?
Mysterious L: Uh...
Me: That's why I just made it a life rule that people who are thinner than me are just... better.
Mysterious L: NO, most assuredly NO.
Me: That way I know -- "Ohhh, you're thinner than me. Okay. Moving on." It's a very good coping mechanism for L.A.
Mysterious L: Well, L.A., sure...
Me: You accept that the 19-year-old yoga instructor in hot pants is better than you and you get on with your day.
Mysterious L: Well... I'm entering my mid-thirties.. Middle age?
Me: 2012 is a month and a year from now. Middle age was 17.
Mysterious L: Yes, yes it was... and I was clueless...
Me: And when I (either of us) could have worn hot pants I (we) thought they were created by a dominant paradigm that was keeping us down. I mean they absolutely are, but still. I wish I could take back some of those haircuts. Ick.
Mysterious L: Did you ever have dreads?
Me: I missed out on dreads for the same reason i missed out on big bangs in 1989. But Lord knows I tried...
Mysterious L: Fine hair.
Mysterious L: But it's so shiny!
Me: HA!!! Hey, do you mind if I blog this?
Mysterious L: Well, I want a good name. Call me Mysterious L.
Fuck You NBC, I Just Wikipediaed Voltron... And...
I was making an allegory of my inner nerd being comprised of various factions… essentially a Voltron of knowledge… and to ensure I had the correct lion as the leader, I stumbled upon this: “Voltron featured a team of five young pilots commanding five robot lions which could be combined to form Voltron. In this undefined future era, the Voltron Force was in charge of protecting...
'Community' is not canceled, yet, but if there was...
popculturebrain: Then again, NBC has done this kind of move twice already (with Parks and Rec and 30 Rock), so we may be jumping the gun. But both of those shows were stalled bc of stars’ pregnancies. OMG. JOEL IS PREGNANT.
I will be camped out in front of a movie theater from this point on… BECAUSE IT’S TIME FOR THE HUNGER GAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To my obsessed anonymous stalker
I waited for you. You are a terrible soul mate.
Anonymous asked: Not only do I like your blog (haha I found it) but I also am OBSESSED with you secretly. Ok here we go.. I got this idea from a Tumblr spam I got once lol.. I think you like me too and you were always too shy to admit it :3 go to crushmatches(dõt)com (wtf it wont let me link regular) and make an account there. Then look up the profile 'gottagetme19' (me obviously) I left body...
Tumbln' With Kass: When Passion Isn't Enough. . . →
michaelkass: A few weeks ago, I was invited to tell a story at a bar. I didn’t know anyone there and fell into conversation with a guy, a fellow performer, a musician. Let’s call him James. James appeared to be in his late 40s or early 50s. Tall, dark skinned, gregarious and clearly passionate about music….
So this is pretty much the best blog post I've...
Notes July 21, 2004 I spent most of today thinking it was Thursday.
ihadfunonce: Read More
She Is Still The Worst, But Thanks For The Traffic
burnupasun: ladykaterobin: If you really weren’t much into Rose Tyler, you might want to have a look at this: (Original article here: http://lizzwritesgood.wordpress.com/2011/08/15/deconstructing-my-disdain-for-rose-tyler/) Constructing MY LOVE for Rose Tyler I’m going to take this point by point, and argue against what was already stated in this article. I’m not going to be bringing up...
joemande: This Kickstarter makes me want to start a Kickstarter to end Kickstarter. Make it stop. Please.