How you are calling Dan's hairline receding? Chuck looks like a short balding elf with a huge fat nose. He is fucking ugly.
Dan is going bald. Not an opinion, just a fact of biology. He’ll probably look good bald, but as of right now (or when they filmed the episode that aired tonight), his hairline has moved significantly further back than a season ago. Since I have watched in awhile, it was something I noticed right away.
And yes, Chuck *does* look like an elf, but I do not find him ugly. He’s odd-looking in the way that Edward Cullen is odd-looking, but I think that’s part of his appeal. It’s his personality that wins us over in the end, right? Or his hotel and money… Actually I like him because it seems like he adopted a cute floppy mutt.
And though Wednesday’s blackout, protests and voter outcry was incredibly successful, the fight is not over. Not even a little bit.
It’s imperative that we stay active.
Because of me.
Look, odds are if you’re reading this site you either know me or like my work. Well, I make my living off the Internet. And if half of the entertainment and parody sites are pulled from Internet, many MANY people like myself will be out of a job. In the middle of a very long and very arduous recession.
Do you remember what happened when the tech bubble burst in 2001? Before 9/11? Well, the economy was pretty good then. If any of these bills pass, the likelihood of another massive round of layoffs in my industry is incredibly high if not an absolute certainty. And it won’t just be the editors, the producers, the writers and the designers. Anyone who is making money from the Internet will be affected. And this time we won’t be able to sell our stuff on eBay to make ends meet because chances are… it’s been shut down too.
And what happens if I get laid off? I lose my place. I lose my health insurance. I ask if I can crash on your couch for awhile… with my dog. Also, I might bring my own couch since I couldn’t sell it on Craiglist as that, too, has been blocked. I hope that’s not a problem — me on my couch with my dog in your house. (In my defense, it’s a very cute couch and a very cute dog.)
Also, I might be kind of depressed as I’ll be out of work and have no feasible means to express my rage and frustration (as blogs will be inaccessible and I can no longer post to Twitter) with what happened. Honestly, the best case scenario is that I start a Journal of Sadness (working title) to document my spiral downward. I might read parts out loud to you, a lot, as it will be my only way to get feedback.
And this is going to happen for quite awhile as the job market will be flooded with people who have very similar resumes and skill sets that match my own… thus making the likelihood of me finding more — if any — work as certain as finding a bag of unmarked bills on the street. So I’ll probably be in my pajamas for most of the day, because there isn’t much sense in getting out of them if I’m just going to sleep all the time and watch reruns of Dr. Who while eating instant soup. On my couch. With my dog. In your place.
I probably won’t be able to get part-time work either because it will pay less than unemployment, and I’ll end up losing money. Also? No one wants to hire someone with 13 years experience writing, editing, producing and managing websites to sell clothes at the mall because they know damn well that I’ll walk out some day if I get another “real” job.
So eventually my funk will become your funk. We’ll have a falling out and I’ll move on to the next house… or maybe just on to the street. And then I’ll die. And then you’ll feel bad for kicking me out, even if you thought that “tough love” approach would finally get me to get my shit together. Funny thing? It was together, I just lost my sole source of revenue.
And, look, neither of us want this to happen. I don’t want to live with you. You don’t want me to live with you. I respect our relationship and would like to keep it positive and fun.
So I implore you to take action against the Internet censorship legislation, if only to save what we have.
Taking a stand for free speech is important, but keeping me employed will have a direct impact on your life.
What You Can Actually Do That Will Make A Difference:
Call your congressperson on the phone. Let them know that you will not support them if he or she supports bills that will have the same SOPA and PIPA legislation tacked on as amendments. Calling is important because it takes more time than an Internet petition and is harder to ignore. Plus if you’re courteous and respectful and speak your points properly, they can’t hang up on you. Ask for the person who deals with legislative issues. Speak with them directly and ask for their name, title and phone number. Tell them you will be following up to see what your representative has to say. Follow-through if you want, but the mere threat of being an organized nuisance will get your message across to the right people.
Read sites like Lifehacker and Mashable for updates on what’s happening with the tabled legislation. I’ll be posting more things, but eventually they’ll all look like a blur — especially if you got to this from my Facebook post. Listen, if you get your information from proper nerds with editing skills (while subsequently keeping them employed by giving them more traffic and thus KEEPING THEM OUT OF MY JOB MARKET), it’ll be easier to understand what is a fact and what has been misconstrued or otherwise taken out of context when the next round of these bills are introduced. (If you’re getting your news from a group that is owned by a company that makes and/or distributes TV and film, odds are the parent company has lobbied extensively to get this legislation written and will attempt to get it passed again. And because of this, the news will not do as thorough a job in reporting on this next fight as it is not in the parent company’s best interests.)
I’m not saying the Internet is perfect. It’s often gross and awful. But it’s how I make my living. If we start regulating it to placate the distribution needs of the MPAA, many MANY people will lose their jobs — possibly me. And if things start falling, your life will be affected significantly more than that day you couldn’t access Wikipedia.
In the interest of open source content and activism, I have written this blog as a scare piece that any of you could use to get your point across — especially to friends and family members that live in areas (ahem, New York and California) who still have Senators and Representatives in favor of these tabled bills. Just swap out the pics and it’s all yours to post, repost, or otherwise share!! Why? Because I care more about keeping my industry functioning than I do about another byline. And I love bylines more than ANYTHING (except my dog because he’s perfect).
We, the undersigned, are musicians, actors, directors, authors, and producers. We make our livelihoods with the artistic works we create. We are also Internet users.
We are writing to express our serious concerns regarding the PROTECT IP Act (PIPA) and the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA).
As creative professionals, we experience copyright infringement on a very personal level. Commercial piracy is deeply unfair and pervasive leaks of unreleased films and music regularly interfere with the integrity of our creations. We are grateful for the measures policymakers have enacted to protect our works.
We, along with the rest of society, have benefited immensely from a free and open Internet. It allows us to connect with our fans and reach new audiences. Using social media services like Facebook, Twitter and YouTube, we can communicate directly with millions of fans and interact with them in ways that would have been unimaginable just a few years ago.
We fear that the broad new enforcement powers provided under SOPA and PIPA could be easily abused against legitimate services like those upon which we depend. These bills would allow entire websites to be blocked without due process, causing collateral damage to the legitimate users of the same services - artists and creators like us who would be censored as a result.
We are deeply concerned that PIPA and SOPA’s impact on piracy will be negligible compared to the potential damage that would be caused to legitimate Internet services. Online piracy is harmful and it needs to be addressed, but not at the expense of censoring creativity, stifling innovation or preventing the creation of new, lawful digital distribution methods.
We urge Congress to exercise extreme caution and ensure that the free and open Internet, upon which so many artists rely to promote and distribute their work, does not become collateral damage in the process.
Kevin Devine, Musician
Barry Eisler, Author
Neil Gaiman, Author
Lloyd Kaufman, Filmmaker
Zoë Keating, Musician
The Lonely Island
Daniel Lorca, Musician (Nada Surf)
Erin McKeown, Musician
Samantha Murphy, Musician
Amanda Palmer, Musician (The Dresden Dolls)
Adam Savage, Special Effects Artist (MythBusters)
Hank Shocklee, Music Producer (Public Enemy, The Bomb Squad)
Johnny Stimson, Musician
And there are a lot more that aren’t famous and have just as much to lose from this… if not more.
Lizz Westman, website manager, producer and writer.