My Portland neighborhood’s “Have a Toy, Give a Toy” puppy program reached its apex on Wednesday when a stuffed Oliver appeared on our lawn.
We’re really more of a dog family… — My mom upon meeting my nephew.
Well I guess that’s one less bar that you’ve been kicked out of in New York…
— My mom in regards to Windows on the World, many phone calls into 9/11/01.
(This may be my favorite ever. Algonquin Table levels of perfection.)
I always liked that Claire Danes. She looks like a good Polish girl we’re probably related to. —
Me: “You mean me?”
“Oh honey, she has a much better jawline than you.” — my mom
I’m so sorry that your peasant bone structure has been holding you back for so long. — My mom
Holy hell, this tastes better than it looks. Summer salads are the best!
I got the salad part from the good people of Whole Foods. However, I caught and skinned and fileted that tuna and marinated it — whole — in soy sauce and garlic and ginger and lemon and cooking wine for 2 hours. Then I pan fried it on medium heat with a teeny tiny bit of olive oil. The salad dressing is from a place down my house that basically created some kind of edible crack because I abhor dressing and I love love love this stuff. *
*One part of this recipe is not true.
This photograph is relevant to my interests.
Oliver’s reluctance towards Mondays seemed strange as his mom works from home and, also, he is a dog.
I used to think that I outgrew seasonal affective disorder. Nope, I just lived in California for 7 years.
Serrano pepper strawberry basil margarita, no sugar. #highmaintenencegirldrinkdrunk
Facebook thinks I have terrible taste.
I absolutely hate — actually hate — every stupid movie on this list. (Yes including The Lion King.)